like I wasn’t going to write about Avengers 2

So I’ve now seen Age of Ultron twice, first with the husband because comics geeks, second with child because indoctrination into comics geekdom, and of course I have thoughts.  This is random and mashed together out of stuff I wrote on Tumblr, so, you know, enjoy my brain.  Spoilers (and capslock) below the cut.

1. Maria Hill is the badass who ran through broken glass in her BARE FEET, shooting murder robots, and then took part in an informal debriefing while pulling shards of said glass out of said feet. Look, I love Black Widow, but Maria fucking Hill, y’all.

2. I love Clint and Natasha, super spy BFFs, chatting about home renovation as they drive to the giant robot battle. And Steve and Tony giving Thor shit about Mjolnir in an elevator.  Clint Barton is such a dad (“The city is flying, we’re fighting robots, and I have a bow and arrow”).  And Falcon’s the only new Avenger who looks at all excited.

2a.  I kind of think my Hawkeye is the Matt Fraction Hawkeye, rather than the MCU Hawkeye, so there was a bit of No, hang on when they got to the farm, but it smoothed out the second time I watched.

3. Only having one person who can do the “lullaby” really seems like a giant tactical error, Steve. Backup systems, Tony. Redundancy. (And I’m not a fan of the ‘beautiful woman calms Hulk’ trope, because I’ve had THREE FREAKING MOVIES OF IT.)

4. Hayley Atwell. Hello, gorgeous. And Mr. Elba, always a joy to see you.

5. Okay, how come we didn’t just have Wanda throw a shield over the switch thing during the big church battle?  Maybe they need Sam and Rhodey to join up so someone will actually think of these things?

6. Nobody (ahem) but Thor can pick up Mjolnir, but pretty much everyone on the team had Captain America’s shield at some point. Divine Right of Kings vs Democracy, yo.

7. The entire theater–adults, teenagers, small children–said, “Whoa!” in the exact same tone of voice when Vision handed Mjolnir to Thor.  Not quite as much the second time, but still there.  The boy, who had been asking his father whose side Vision was on pretty much as soon as he came out of the tank, gave the husband a look of jaw-dropped “oh my god” that I’m really sorry I missed.

8. The number of shirtless men in this movie makes me think someone at Marvel has looked at the audience demographics, even if they’re interpreting them in the shallowest way possible. (I would like shirtless men and a Black Widow movie, for the record.)

9. Everyone on this team is called a monster at some point (except Clint? Maybe?). I think most of them call themselves monsters.  This is interesting.

10. I can’t get with Nat/Bruce because BETTY ROSS, BRUCE, YOU HAVE A WIFE FOR GOD’S SAKE oh wait, that’s the comics, they’re not married in the MCU.

10a. That said … oh, Natasha.  I don’t think you and Bruce get each other as well as you thought, hon.

11. Okay, look, I’m a Whedon fan.  I’m not saying he’s perfect, but I like the guy’s work overall, and as someone who’s watched pretty much everything (I think?) that he’s done, this movie is really interesting, especially given how often he’s said he relates to Ultron.  I read an interview with him a few years ago–dude’s outlook on humanity is really, really bleak; all of his work has a lot of darkness in it, nobody gets out unscathed, and holy cats but James Spader was the perfect person to deliver those Ultron speeches.

11a.  And … JAMES SPADER YOU GLORIOUS PSYCHOPATHIC ROBOT YOU WERE ALL I COULD HAVE HOPED FOR.

13. Okay, nobody told me Evangeline Lilly is in Ant Man–who’s she playing?

14.  YES, I WOULD LIKE TO WATCH STARLORD AND KINGPIN USE RAPTORS TO FIGHT GENETICALLY MODIFIED DINOSAURS THAT RAMPAGE THROUGH UNIVERSAL STUDIOS, PLEASE AND THANK YOU!!!!

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